The “Blessing”

Surely, it happened to you at some point over the holidays. Someone asked you about Pope Francis and his announcement regarding blessings for same-sex couples. It happened to me, and although the conversation I had was tenuous at best, I must exclaim from the mountaintops that I received a most wonderful blessing from the Lord in response to it all.

You see, I was answering to the statement, “So, I hear your church is becoming quite progressive.”

Yes. It was a non-Catholic making a bid to question the pope, question his “break from Church teaching”, and even more so, question his legitimacy as the head of the Church given everything they were hearing from the press. “I don’t think there needs to be a pope. You should be able to think on your own,” was the sentiment. So, you can see why I felt like the cards were totally stacked against me, especially when I made the conscious choice not to criticize or make any inferences about the Church this person attends.

Humility and charity are hard for me, especially when confronted with overtones that imply that the other person thinks you are a complete idiot, especially for not understanding the “real” message of the Gospel.

So, it’s one thing to hash out these things that happen in the Church with other Catholics. It’s another to try to have a meaningful discussion with someone who says, “That’s not what it sounds like to me,” in the face of trying to explain that the pope did not give a green light to same-sex marriages. The conversation was dead before it got started. Only the Lord could resurrect anything from it. The other person just didn’t understand that we Catholics use the word “blessing” in more than one context.

It was assumed that “blessing” meant to condone, much like when a father offers his blessing (accord) to a suitor who wants to ask his daughter for her hand in marriage.

The conversation went around in circles, as I did my best dodge insults, misunderstandings, and all out attacks much like I did when I practiced Tae Kwon Do among children who threw their best kicks and punches at this Kung-Fu Panda Momma! I didn’t want to hurt the other person. At the same time, I didn’t want to go down either.

I came home from that confrontation and unloaded what happened to my husband. He chuckled. Of course, he would. I should have expected it. He does not engage in “organized religion”. He claims that after surviving parochial school, K-12, he did his time and has his slot already saved for him in heaven. Seriously.

He just shook his head and snickered,

“I’ve had lots of guys ask me about it online since they know you are Catholic. I just tell them that you all have everything blessed, like the blessing of the animals when all the kids bring their pets to church so the clergy can pray over them. That’s hysterical! They all laughed at that one.”

My husband just beamed with a twinkle in his eye. It that was infectious. My father-in-law had to pile on. “Oh, yeah! In Chicago, I remember pulling up to the church in a line to get the car blessed. All my friends thought it was important. I’ve never been a practicing Catholic, but if a prayer could help protect my car and anyone inside of it, I was in! I mean, what did I have to lose?”

My jaw dropped. My husband had a better approach and explanation than I did, and I was the practicing Catholic!!! I found out that he has been a spectator who witnesses to others for some time now. He begins with, “My wife…”

What a tremendous blessing that was for me—a gift.

It was a gift that reminded me that there is always someone watching out there who knows how we live and what we do. In my case, I thought that my husband was aloof and indifferent. But the fact is, even my father-in-law will remind me when it’s 3 pm so I can stop everything I’m doing for afternoon prayer. I thought they needed to participate in small groups and read scripture daily to learn the faith, but at the most basic level, I was reminded of an old adage from my teaching days—people, especially children, learn what they live.

Faith in action is paramount when it comes to evangelizing even the closest members of our families.

Then, they might be interested in joining our small groups and Bible studies. So, I’m asking for the Lord’s blessing as I double down for 2024! How about you?

Cindy Cardenas-Kolak

Cynthia Cardenas-Kolak is a lifelong learner, teacher, independent scholar, and author who has trained other trainers, teachers, and administrators on best instructional practices for diverse learners. She has been a member of Prince of Peace Catholic Community for seven years and resides in northwest Houston with her husband and son. As an active participant in her parish, she has served in multiple roles including pastoral care volunteer, funeral coordinator, small group facilitator of book studies with Catholic WE and the parish at large, LOVING STONES, and has a strong calling to the New Evangelization.

Favorite Scriptures: “Give thanks to the Lord on the harp; on the ten-stringed lyre offer praise. Sing to him a new song; skillfully play with joyous chant.” (Ps 33:3)

“Call to me, and I will answer you; I will tell you things beyond the reach of your knowledge.” (Jer 33:2-3)

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Cross-Evangelization